I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
