We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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