a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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