pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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