There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
