I think I am morally bankrupt
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
