Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
