I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
