I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
