I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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