I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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