How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
this hospital has no fireball
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
