Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
