Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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