do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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