Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
