we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
