still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
