I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
