It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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