I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I need a burrito and a hug.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
