The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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