She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
