It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
