Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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