with your own penis?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize