Sorry, I don't speak sober.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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