I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
