Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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