I think i peed on brittanys purse
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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