Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
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