eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
