My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
