there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm at about main and main street
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
3 2 1 whiskey
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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