i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
