i don't like sucking hair
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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