I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
