As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize