Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
