he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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