I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
