Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
