So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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