Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
