All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
