Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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