their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
