your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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