Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
