oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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