You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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