Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
