Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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