I wannas sexs uuuuu
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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