I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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