Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
