i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
