Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
