Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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