Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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